Maybe a little too late to greet 2017, but happy new year everyone! I hope 2017 treats us much, much better than the previous year.
2016 was a ride full of emotions. It was certainly not my year, but I'm still thankful for the good and bad stuff that happened. It was a year closer to reality, a year in which I matured even a little bit more.
Started my year off with a cooking accident and all I'm now left with are two battle scars: one on my right forearm and the other on my right thigh. First semester sucked because I was with a stressed and stressful group. Eventually we quit, I've already ranted about this before so I won't go into the trouble of bringing it up again. Second semester was less stressful, but depressive. I felt so bad about not picking any more classes. It was just a lazy semester when I should had been pretty busy instead. Well, that's because I quit another class, which had the same teacher as the one class that I mentioned just before.
2016 was also a year in which I reconnected to people via the internet. I don't remember being so active in Skype before, kinda reminded me of the Windows Live Messenger days. I had switched to LINE/Kakao and forgot about the other DM services. I'd pop up on Skype every once in a while just to see who was still online.. but then I'd disappear and continue with mobile apps. As you can see, I also got more active here on blogger and I hope it keeps up like this for many other years.
Talked to old and new people, most of them to never have met in the real world. It was fun and exciting. But that's what helped my depression grow once the new semester started. Going back to reality sucked, but that can't be avoided, right?
There's also a site which died that year. It broke my heart because that was the only way to talk to my beloved friend whom I never met physically, but both of us wished we did. He was enough to make me happy, and he'd always be there for me. We'd always talk and tell inside jokes to each other and send private messages when our birthdays were around and when the year ended/started (the PMs were saved unlike the chats). We met in 2008, and we continued to stay in touch until early 2016. I've left links to this blog everywhere, so hopefully he'll see this someday. I remember our online friends and game guildmates shipping us and years later we got "married". Ew, what a weirdo Remi. It took me a looong time to get over it, but now I just laugh at it and when the time comes I'm sure we'll be as close as we used to be, except for the lovers part. It's okay, we broke it in a cool way.
I spent the last few days of 2016 at the hospital. First time such thing ever happened to me or my family. I had to see the new year's fireworks from the hospital window, and then I decided to message everyone I could; wishing them a happy new year and secretly hoping that they or their family members would never end like me. In Korea we say 새해복 많이 받으세요, which translates to "I wish you a blessed year", instead of the simple "happy new year" many countries say.
I sent messages to people I talk to on a daily basis, people whom I barely talk to, and people who stopped talking to me. In other words, all those who are still dear to me. I did it with the intention of wishing them the best of the year even if I didn't say it literarily. Of course I didn't message everyone I ever talked to in my lifespan, that'd be insane and I was not in a state to do so. Staying at the hospital sucks, I selfishly wanted some of them to keep the conversation going just to get myself distracted from thinking of the bad things. (I'll go into more details in a future post.)
Some people replied nicely, some of them gave me the cold shoulder. Some of them have yet to reply, or maybe they did but I just haven't checked them yet.
If anyone is wondering how I'm doing after my birthday post, I'm doing quite good. So good that I'm questioning if those feelings were actually real or just a feeling that was way too overthought. Maybe love was too strong of a word. It was more of a someone I don't want to ever lose kind-of-feeling. It makes a lot of sense considering I caught these weird feelings when he was gone. '-' I felt bad for not reading his messages the day he sent them. It's up to him if he wants to be friends again. I've already sent him the "I'm alright now, don't worry!" indirect. Can I cringe now?
Anyway! It's 2017 now. 2016 is forever gone. I don't want to be that common girl saying stuff like "New year, new me". After all, my motto is still the same: Be stronger than yesterday, weaker than tomorrow.
I'll write another post about my first couple weeks back at the main house.. probably in a couple days. I have to go back to the hospital this weekend and my brother (the one I live with at our apartment or "side house") and his girlfriend are visiting this Friday. They'll be here for a week.
Well then, have a wonderful week and year overall!
