It's finally the last month of the year and also one of the busiest months.

"Jamaican water" - tasted like melted jello but it was good!

Lamb hamburger with coleslaw and dijon mustard!

Chilli hotdog with nachos!

"Kakigori matcha" - Green tea shaved ice with adzuki beans and ice cream!

I ate everything except for half the hot dog and some nachos. He ate the other half though, so don't worry, there was no waste! I really enjoyed this night. ^q^

Also, kind of off-topic but today, three years ago, a special someone left this world. I remember how shocked I was when I heard the news. You know why? Because before hearing about his passing I was asleep. I was dreaming. In that dream I was at school when suddenly one of the teachers calls for me, saying that this person was looking for me. So I leave the classroom to meet up with this person just to be woken up, in reality, to hear from my brother that he had passed away. I know what he wanted to say to me. I know very well. Miss you.

It was Saturday. I had gone to sleep a little past 2 AM. My body couldn't hold it any longer as all this week I had barely been sleeping. At around 7 AM I could hear my brother getting ready for work. He only works on weekdays, but this Saturday was an exception. 5 hours of sleep wasn't enough for the tired me, so after sending a few replies to my friends (I often just fall asleep waiting for their replies in a matter of seconds ;_;), I went back to sleep. However, now that winter is ending the sun rises earlier and I kept waking up every hour. Nevertheless! I got plenty of sleep.

I did some chores at home instead of doing my homework, and then had to leave for church and dance practice.

That day's topic was "Let's! Series part 4: Marriage". Yes, marriage! A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about me having dreams about having kids two years ago. Well, not only were dreams about kids, but family and a husband overall. Then after a week I had another dream about marrying a guy. I didn't write it here because it was just odd haha. But anyway, back to topic, that day's words were interesting. The pastor's words were all about marriage; that it isn't the end or ultimate goal of your life, but instead it's just the beginning of your life. Marriage isn't happiness, but a process of achieving happiness. He kept saying "Go on! Get married!" Hahah, he was setting us the pressure of getting married fast. He was hurrying us!

For so long, when everything wasn't going my way (not that it is right now anyway), I'd say I just wanted to get married and live my life as a housewife because I'm old fashioned. I don't like going out, and the fact that I'd be welcoming my husband home and raising my kids just sounded right and happy. I know that even to this day there are families like that; the husband going to work while the wife does house stuff and takes care of the kids. So I still hope that I will be like that too! It's not like I want to live like that because I'm lazy. It's because I easily get depressed and/or anxious and I don't feel like going out at all. So staying at home is my best remedy, cooking and baking... and then greeting my beloved; that'd make my day! I'm very family oriented, although my family in general (aunts and uncles included) aren't like that. ^^;

Anyway, after church I was supposed to practice for our worship dance but only two people, including myself, were present while 4 were missing, therefore practice was cancelled. Even with us two, the practice room was locked.

After that we, along with a few more people, went to have dinner and some chit-chat! We had fusion food (Korean+western style) and fried chicken! I appreciate fried chicken because I can no longer deep-fry food as a trauma was generated after my cooking accident earlier this year. I ate lots!




I had a really fun night and after my friend/senior drove me back home, I was supposed to have a movie night with my internet friend. It didn't happen because I was too exhausted and none of us brought up the topic anyway. But earlier today we talked about it, and we should be watching it tonight, unless something happens.

As of today, I had dance practice and it was very tiring. The tempo is really fast and even though I know the steps, my body won't follow. I need to do some self-practice at home sigh..

I went back home and after scrolling and lurking through the internet I finally took a nap, still without doing any homework. I'll do it tomorrow for sure.. hopefully. So now that my energy is back I hope I will be able to watch the movie with my friend!

Good night~

I'd like to write down the dreams I had today before I forget them.

It's kind of weird. They might have some kind of deeper meaning, at least more than just a product of my imagination.

I had a dream in which I'd have a class party planned but I was given out homework. I had to bring something related to the country I'm currently living in, that could contribute to the said party. I bought a package of ice cream but I ended up eating them in some way, and had to buy another box yet it was too late as all the shops were closed. I think this dream is related to me procrastinating everything? My middle school crush was there too, but I no longer feel anything towards him, so it was just normal.

Then I'd suddenly be in this big music festival, my favourite band was there, the band of my high school senior was there too, and some other artists that I can't remember. I'd be cheering and fangirling over my band and the singer gave me two guitar picks! I was so, so happy because one was for me and I'd give the other one to my brother as he likes that band too and we both play(ed) guitars. Too bad it was just a dream.

Then I woke up and went back to sleep because I wanted to be with the band again. ;_; However, I dreamt about another thing.

I can't be very detailed about this one, but someone I'd constantly talked to appeared in it almost by the end. The dream itself was somewhat mysterious and a little scary for me, but I wouldn't call it a nightmare. I was with a group of people, either people I know (or kind of know), or fictional characters. There was a legend going that if you dove into this lake-like pool and found the "sparkling secret", you'd be punished for two years and would later see something worth the wait. The lake-pool was indoors, which was part of a stage or theatre (I can't really explain this). There was no light either.

We thought it was just some random fake legend, but somehow believed there was a treasure lying deep in that lake. So all of us dove in, and got out after some time. Some of us and I tried once more, and I saw something. Another person reached out for it, and as it shone brightly I was pulled out by force to the centre of the deep lake, still under water. I was chained to the ground. I was the one to be punished for two years. (Usually, when a dream seems odd, I'd be able to tell and wake up if I wanted but this wasn't the case). I was still under water, how was I supposed to survive for two years to be able to see the worthy reward?

Moments later I found myself seeing the light again, as if my body was waking up from a slumber. I can't tell how much time passed seeing just black, mind you, this is still within the dream. My eyes wide opened realising I was still under water, and right after, I was pulled up by the chains..by force again, to some sort of chamber right up still in the centre of the lake. And I saw something really phenomenal, I can't even describe it. I saw galaxies and stars, dancing in the most beautiful way. I don't know where I saw something similar for it to appear in my dream, but it was sparklingly beautiful.

After that scenery faded away, I looked down to figure out how I was supposed to go ground-floor again, and to my surprise the people that were with me were waiting for my return. They all had been trying to break the shackles that had me attached to the ground deep in the lake.

The chamber suddenly started to crumble, and chains were sent flying all over the place. The theatre was surrounded by windowed walls, by the way. Most of the chains broke these windows that had papers with drawings and doodles sticked to some of them. I jumped and somehow got down to the ground, and there.. the person that I'd constantly talked to (a real person) ran towards me, asking if I was alright. I was in shock, because we had suddenly stopped talking to each other, and then there he was in this dream. I felt like crying. I had missed this person so much. I had wondered why he suddenly stopped talking to me. I felt bad because I never initiated a conversation with him as I'm terribly shy and I get scared that I might get ignored (this is in fact true). Seeing this person made me realise that this was a dream, and I was soon to wake up. I was standing in utter shock, while this person was on his knees hugging me, showing a worried expression on his face. I said no words, my dreamy eyes were about to cry. I looked around just to be able to remember all of this before the whole place crumbled down (meaning the dream/sleep was about to be over). Right in front of me, I could see my drawings pierced through by the spear-like chain. I couldn't see what was drawn, but I am certain it was something I drew.

Um.. the place was something like this(?):

So there they are. These are the dreams I had today. After re-reading all of this, I think I liked this person I last saw in my dream. But maybe it was just an interest, or he just appeared because I'm still wondering what happened to him. I don't know. What is the secret message?

I can tell the first dream portrays my anxiousness of not being able to present a complete homework, and the second part is because I've always wanted to get something for me and my brother, from that band. But what about the latest dream? Why was I punished? Why two years? What's the meaning of those chains, the whole deep lake, the pierced drawings and that person?