I apologise I skipped July's journal! So even though it's August already, today's post is sort of a resume of what happened on the past month.

[!] - This post refers to my 'online' life unless stated.

Ever since I joined the server/game rTO back in the middle to the end of June, I never had the opportunity to fully open myself to others. I didn't really have the people to call 'friends' but I would occasionally talk to the people I saw in the game's PvP.

It had been almost 3 years and a half since the last time I played TO (trickster online), and although it's not the same server, the game was still the game as I remembered, obviously with some adjustments (but you get the idea).

I wasn't able to find my old friends (except one) or close guildmates, but I re-encountered people that somehow remembered me, and of course new friends! I joined this server a little too late, though. Many people had quit months to years back leading the server to be less populated.

Some players afk-vend, some have multiple characters and play them at the same time, and some are active players. The main map/town is what I like to call the "zombie town". They are alive, but they're also dead.

The story:
So in order to find active players, I paid a visit to the game's Player vs Player field. To my surprise there were people and even crazy wars. Multiple guilds were involved as well.

The last time I played this game was in 2013, the last time I visited pvp was in 2009. It had been 7 years since the last time I heard it's BGM, 7 years since I felt that rushing heart while thinking that someone might kill me right away or spare me.

Thanks to my sibling, I was spared by someone who was quite friendly to us. Later we found out he was one of the main heads of the pvp wars. My sibling and I befriended another player who was 'new' to pvp too, and together we'd try to unriddle names/igns or subjects that were unknown to us yet still related to pvp. Us three were the pvp-neutrals: "Truth Rangers" over Skype, but that group is pretty much dead now. Visiting PvP was fun and annoying sometimes, but overall, I had a good time there.

PvP had its drama too and I was later affected by it. Since I was friendly with one team more than the other (mind you, it really took me time and effort to be accepted by most of them), I was naturally kos'd (kill on sight) by the opposite team. I don't mind that, it's pvp after all and it's to be expected.

However the drama was insulting and accosting. It's okay to kill in pvp, but it's not okay to call names, make fun of or spread lies about someone.

I fell into the latter category. I was called fake Korean several times outside of pvp, making me and my sibling leave the map. My sibling no longer plays because of personal reasons (studies, work) and I'm glad the other "ranger" has been inactive or else she'd had fallen as a victim of similar accusations too. The "Truth Rangers" was already dead, so yeah.. even though it's hard to say this, I'm glad it had died as this saved that friend/ranger.

I was ready to call it quits too. So the lonely me visited PvP just to reminiscence one last time. And that's when I met one more person. At first I was unsure about the situation (a little scared too), as he was part of the opposite team, the team that kos me, even more - he was the guild leader! He was approaching my character and all I had to expect was getting killed again but!.. that didn't happen.

Instead, he talked to me in a troll-like way yet quite friendly too. He added me and ever since we talked to each other often. Also, he cleared the misunderstanding of me being a fake Korean and I'm thankful for that. I really dislike fake accusations.

Now in August, also thanks to him I was able to re-encounter one of the oldest friends I ever met in this game, who brings back 2008 memories. This was the second re-encounter (third time playing together).

Whatever happened after the end of July will be told in a future post, though.

July was simply my escape from reality and it helped me cope with the depression caused by final exams and personal matters. Of course many things happened towards the end of the month, but I would like to keep it 'short' here so I won't be typing everything.

I could have attached some screenshots too, but I don't feel like doing that, given that I'm not emotionally stable right now. But I felt like typing and posting a blog entry because that calms me down in some way. (*´ ᵕ`*)

Good night!